People everywhere are talking a lot about the problems we have in America. Newscasts and radio shows are spouting off about the debacle that is our country. Budgets are out of balance, corruption in office, generational poverty, former sports heroes being dethroned, and cities are filing bankruptcy. Blah, blah, blah! Every where you turn it’s all you see and hear.

Social media isn’t helping the level of pain.

Sites are swamped with photos of politicians with their mouths open with sarcastic comments pasted across the front of the image.The number of “likes” are off the charts and the comments are ongoing (and often off topic) as folks rush to type out their feelings on every angle of every situation.

“Don’t tell me how to insure my family’s health. We need to shut down the Tea Party. Stop all immigration. No more guns. The dollar is dead. ” On and on and on.

Stop already! stop

You are clogging up the energy stream with your need to be right, to be heard, and to be the winner. Stone throwing and back stabbing serves no one. And oh the constant whining! Make it stop.

This is a perfect time in history for us to come together as a species. I’ve put together a handy list of three things everyone can do to make an effective difference on our tomorrow, beginning today.

To make sure it is simple to remember I put it together in ABC style:

A- Agree to disagree.

Your model of the world is not every one elses model of the world and that needs to be perfectly fine. Diversity is what made this country what it was. Respectful debate is one thing, but demanding that you turn every listener on to your point of view just isn’t going to happen. Accept it and move on. Our neurons are filtering information second by second.

Of the two million bits of information coming through, only approximately 156 bits can be taken in and stored. And guess what?! The 156 pieces are whichever of the two million that came in that are the closest to what you already have going on in your neural structure. This means you may NEVER actually understand what the “other side” is trying to do. Your brain simply (and literally) is not wired for it. Neural patterns are formed based on personal historical experiences. Until you purposefully retrain yourself, your brain simply isn’t going to resonate with the other person’s message. Which is why your respectful choice to agree to disagree always makes good sense.

B- Be quiet.

Seriously! Stop talking about your CRAP. Your Conflict, Resistance, Anxiety and Problems only grow when you talk about them. Your brain loves your voice. To feed it only junk food is unkind. When your grandmother said “ if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”, she was right. Talk only of what is going well.

Remember this. As an adult you are the model of the future. Your children and grandchildren are listening to you complain to your spouse over that cup of coffee. They too are complaining to their friends over their milk and cookies. They learn what they live.

If you really want to make a difference today, stop talking unless it is praise, or worthy of ponder. Instead of complaining about the price of groceries in front of little Johnny with the big, brown eyes ask aloud “I wonder if we could find a way to grow our own vegetables.” Rather than complaining about the price of groceries praise that the store is close by and you can walk to it.

Learning to redirect and reframe problems shows our young ones resilience and a new way to think. If something were to rub off onto your children or grandchildren, shouldn’t it be that problems are simply obstacles that need strategies developed so that we can clear them?

C- Keep calm and carry on.

Never mind posting your anger on your friends social media wall. Don’t bother throwing a sarcastic comment over your shoulder at the person who accidentally bumped your elbow and spilled your coffee. Your sneer at the lady who is under-dressed and overly painted is hurtful, as is the eye-roll you just gave the waitress who got your order wrong. Quit being so full of disdain and dislike.

Quite simple stop reacting to every little thing that offends you. Your annoyance is, quite frankly, annoying! Deep breathing will take you from stressed out to sublime. If you’re frustrated simply stop, close your mouth and breathe in deeply from your nostrils, open your mouth slightly and blow out the air. Rinse and repeat. Deep breathing solves a lot.

My three tactics, plainly spoken, all involve every one of us taking personal responsibility for what we are communicating. Stop already! If you can’t add to the solution then at least don’t add to the problem. Take personal responsibility for now giving your attention to what’s wrong. Find what is right and shine a light on that.