Time to Be Done With Self-Sabotage

“I guess you’d call it self-sabotage. I want to be done with this awful cycle! I get inspired, take action, and hit a wall. It’s the same all the time. I give up quickly, as soon as there is any kind of obstacle. I am simply not where I want to be in my life. HELP! I need change, but I don’t know how”  Ugh! So many times this is what I hear from clients.

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Their words are tainted with shame, guilt, self-disgust and pain. Often times it has taken weeks or even months for them to admit there is a problem and then finally reach out. By the time they arrive they are mired in the pain of self-sabotage.

What can you do when you’re recognize that you are perpetuating a negative pattern? First things first, raise your right hand over your head. Good, now reach behind your shoulder and pat yourself on your back. Congratulate yourself for seeing the cycle. It’s a huge first step in stopping the pain. The next big step is inviting change in to your life. It’s about developing what some call a pattern interrupt and anyone can do it. You can do it.

The key is in ending your rut. You need to create a new landscape in your brain. The end goal scientifically is to create new neural patterns encoded with better information. This means you’ll need new scenery.

I think sometimes that love gets in the way of itself, you know-love interrupts itself. We want things so much that we sabotage them.

Pattern Interrupt for Self-Sabotage

The interruption you want to do is in the form of intervention. It’s time to reach out for help. Luckily, today there are many forms of help. I want to introduce some things you can begin with for low cost or no cost:

  • Are you visual? YouTube is your friend. Go to the site that made videos a new form of entertainment and type in words like motivation, personal development, inspiration, create change, Tony Robbins, Will Smith, Les Brown, Lisa Nichols, and (*ahem*) Tam I Am Veilleux. Do not get lost in watching NHL hockey bloopers, cute kittens or Moto-Cross races. Stay tapped in to new information that is geared directly toward personal development.
  • Are you more auditory? iTunes is your friend. Go there to purchase or check out audios that have brain changing binaural beats. Pick up streams of short hypnosis tracks by Steve G. Jones, Tellman Knudson or Dr. Matt James.
  • Are you kinesthetic? Deep breathing is your friend. Begin the practice of deep breathing. Set your phone’s timer for three minutes, put your feet on the floor, relax into your chair and simply breathe. Be soft. Just listen for the intake of breath and feel the filling of your chest and belly. Hold for a couple of seconds then part your lips and teeth as you exhale with a soft “Haaaaaaaaaaa” noise. Breathe in, hold, breathe out, relax. That’s it. If mind chatter happens, so be it. Just keep refocusing on your breath. The deep breathing allows your cellular structure more oxygen and a chance to expand. Meditation improves focus and memory, two things you certainly need.
  • Love reading? Pick up great books at Amazon or just Google blogs that include self-healing, motivation, inspiration, change, and the end of self-sabotage.


Your path to ending self-sabotage begins with acknowledging it and then reaching out. It’s step one. Change can be fast and easy when you know what you’re aiming at. The next piece of the self-healing puzzle is to create your personal *Hit List. It’s the next blog post you’ll see. Until then-

Breathe in, hold, breathe out “Aaaaaaaaaaaaah”.  And please, trust the process, you are on your way to creating a life you love.